Becoming A Girl Mom.

Leave a comment

At 17 weeks pregnant we got to share the news with our families (and then to the entire social media universe) that we are expecting a baby girl!

Our sweet Elliott or “Elli” as we have began to call her is due to make her debut come January and we are already in overdrive preparing for her arrival. My husband and I have wanted a baby girl since we got married (for me my entire life). When we became pregnant the first time I knew we were expecting our son well before the anatomy scan. Call it Mother’s intuition but I just knew he wasn’t that daughter we had dreamt of previously. Perhaps it was because I already knew in my heart that I was going to be a boy mom but I wasn’t disappointed at all when the anatomy scanned revealed his gender. He has taught me so much about love and that special bond a mother has with her son. I can’t imagine transitioning into this new role without his guidance, because it is this boy of mine who has taught me what it means to become a mother. And for that I am forever grateful.

My bond was so great with my boy that I couldn’t envision sharing my love with another little being. How could I love another child the way I love my firstborn? I just couldn’t fathom that it was possible. And in all honesty, I didn’t have any desire to share my heart. I wanted my son to have 100% of me. And yet when he reached around two and half years old I found myself yearning for another baby. My husband was more than eager to try again and so after getting an opportunity to escape to Europe together we decided it was time.

This second time was harder to conceive. We tried for four months before anything came to be and I was disappointed every time I took a pregnancy test, confusing my period symptoms for possible signs of pregnancy. I know many couples struggle to conceive much longer than we did so I don’t mean to minimize what any other readers experience may be but for any parents you know that once your heart feels ready it just seems to take entirely too long.

I got to share the good news with my husband that we were expecting right over our fifth wedding anniversary. We were both so elated and I was jumping on the Pinterest bandwagon planning various nurseries. I was so impatient I even started planning a gender neutral room so I didn’t have to wait. Since it was over the holidays we had fun sharing our news with our families during Christmas celebrations and had our son help by wearing a big brother shirt. My best friend was also pregnant and it seemed too perfect that come August I would join her in the ranks of SAHM with our babies being so close. Yet this baby wasn’t meant for our arms. We didn’t have our first ultrasound until eleven weeks when we found out this pregnancy was a blighted ovum and there was no baby to be had.

So with this past heartache comes an overwhelming joy to know our rainbow baby is not only special, being a gift from God after loss, but also that she’s our girl we’ve been dreaming of. This girl brings us hope for our future as a family and a new kind of adventure. Her timing is perfect according to God’s plan and we’re already celebrating this blessing. I’ll be sharing more about my pregnancy journey, her nursery reveal, how we chose her name and all things about preparing my heart and home for baby number two in the weeks and months to follow so stay tuned. But for now I just ask for continued thoughts and prayers that our girl can continue to be the healthy miracle that we’ve so longed for.

Xoxo

Gwen

Mothering Without A Mom.

Leave a comment

Trigger Warning.

I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom. The modality of how I’d get there changed throughout the years – for a while I thought I would only adopt rather than try to conceive. This was due to my involvement with foster youth and the recognition that there are so many children who need love. I still have every intention of adoption but while looking into the steps I’ve recognized that it is A LOT more complex than I had ever imagined. The cost of an international adoption literally requires us to take out a loan against our home and create a substantial amount of debt. If we opted to adopt through the state the cost isn’t even comparable but we are required to become foster parents and adopt through the foster system. This poses a severe risk to our hearts as the goal is to always reunite foster youth with their biological families and that can be a possibility up until the day of signing the legal adoption paperwork. In either instance the path to motherhood via adoption poses significant hurdles.

My husband was very firm on his desire to biologically have a child while supporting my desire to adopt. We knew that we would build a family with both means. Just over three years ago we became parents with the birth of our son. Motherhood has been all that I had imagined and then some. It is overwhelming in both the best and worst of ways. All parents know that it tries you in ways you didn’t know you could be tested. I’ve doubted myself and judged myself more harshly as a mom than I have in any other capacity. I deeply wanted reassurance from my mom that this was normal, that I was doing ok, and that I’m the best mom for my baby. That has never come to be.

Although I am beyond blessed to have a mother in law who does all of that and more, I still can’t help but be envious of those I see with their mothers fully engaged as grandmas. My son is too young yet to understand that my mom is not present but I fear the day he asks about my mommy. How can I explain that to my innocent boy? How do you explain that a mother would choose to not engage with her child? Will that impact the way he relies on me as his mom? Will he question when I say I’ll always be there for him and always love him? As an adult I can comprehend the reasons (although not justify them) for her not being available but what hurts the most is knowing she could do that to my baby. This grandchild that she used to speak of before his existence. This child she couldn’t wait to see enter the world, he doesn’t know her. I am thankful that he has his my in laws and my dad and stepmom to show him the love of a grandparent but I still wish things could be different.

So for those of you missing your mothers whether because she is absent due to choice or circumstance, know you are not alone. Please know that you are the best possible mom for your baby. And know that I am here to offer you words of encouragement when you miss hearing them from your own mother.

#mothering #motherhood #motheringwithoutamother #boymom #toddlermom #ittakesavillage

Chores – should toddlers be doing them?

Leave a comment

Chores.

I hated them as a kid but am reading more and more about the benefits that chores even for ages 2-3 have on kids. They can instill a sense of independence, of confidence in being able to take care of a task, and of course teaches a sense of responsibility. All of that sounds wonderful and of course those are all traits I want my kid to possess but if I’m being honest, often times it feels like another chore for me to get him to do the chore. He loves to help and will ask to but in the busyness of our schedules I often find myself scrambling to take care of it all – and by scrambling I mean literally SCRAMBLING as I frantically rush out the door in the morning.

Here’s an example: feeding the dog is a morning task right? Dogs gotta eat breakfast! Well if my little man decides to sleep in until right before it’s time to head out the door then I literally don’t have time to supervise him doing those things. And newsflash both of those tasks are on a list of age appropriate chores for children ages 2-3 years old. I should note another dilemma here is that Carter will still occasionally eat a piece of kibble to get a reaction from us. So please explain to me how that is fitting in our household?

Now I haven’t entirely given up on this concept with my kibble eating toddler. I do ask him to clear his plate from the dinner table and ask him to put his dirty clothes in the laundry hamper at the end of the night. Occasionally he’s asked to pick up his toys but it’s never consistent enough to count as a chore. And I did have a friend recommend this chore chart for him: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MRLINN5?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share&fbclid=IwAR1vFWVIgX0XqiQ-6gmFzgqjrsgJu3VJCdIcsobM2xiP59iEaSeyu8WWZVg but I’ve yet to purchase it.

Another list I found suggests making the bed and dusting are age appropriate. I’m all for that as I loathe making the beds yet do every morning and if I’m being honest I can’t remember the last time I dusted. But I am a little bit anal about how I like things done. Appearance matters to me. I still correct how my husband makes the bed! Now I know this is my own issue and the solution should just be to lower my standards (for my son not my husband) but it helps me enjoy my home that much more to see it presentable. And to me, the bed is a big part of that when it’s the focal point of a room.

So I’m asking you parents out there for honesty. Do your kids do chores? If so how old are they?

Let’s Talk Screen Time (gasp!)

Leave a comment

Before I became a parent I had this disillusioned idea that my kid would never watch tv, never eat fast food, never eat in the car, and would never be mismatched or in his pajamas in public (insert laughter here). I’m sure all of us parents can relate to ideas we held about parenting choices before we actually filled that role. We are quick to judge others for their choices without living the experience ourselves. And then once we’re immersed in this new title we realize it is so dang hard!

Full admission, my kid has had fast food too many times to count, he has gone to the store with me in his pajamas, he most certainly eats in the car on a regular basis and going full circle – he watches tv. This first picture is him just over one year old probably enthralled with Moana – the first thing that actually captured his attention. He’s now three and although his tastes have shifted to the likes of @breckybreck the point remains the same, he watches tv. We’ve never actively monitored how much but are somewhat aware. I’ve read articles about how screen time can alter a child’s behavior negatively, even increasing emotional outbursts and the expression of anger. I’ll admit this does somewhat sound like my fiery child at times but I also am a hot head so that could very well be a testament to, “I got it from my mama.”

All that being said, am I going to prohibit my kid from watching anything in the future? No. Why? Because I believe in enjoying things in moderation. It’s the same reason I let him have a small dessert most nights. Is that all he’s eating? Of course not. Do I still make him eat the dinner I’ve prepared for our family? Absolutely. And if he eats enough (I don’t believe in the clear your plate rule) he can enjoy a treat just like his dad and I do. Life is about finding a balance and I want him to understand that from an early age.

With this practice I see him being able to equally enjoy some down time with a show as well as going on our nightly walks through the neighborhood and to the playground. He is an active and otherwise healthy boy that expresses a zest for life and for that I am grateful.

What about you mamas? Are there parenting practices you have that you swore would never happen?

Xoxo

Gwen

Just say no.

Leave a comment

Learn How To Say No.

That’s the advise I’ve been given numerous times over.  I’m a people pleaser and want to make everyone happy and meet all of the expectations all of the time.  Essentially what that translates to is I want to project a level of perfection.  Perfection in my physical appearance, perfection in my job performance, perfection as a wife, perfection as a mom, perfection as a friend, perfection as a daughter, perfection as a sister, perfection with the image of my house, and the list goes on and on.  But the problem lies in the fact that NO ONE can achieve that.  We may all project that on social media but that isn’t what our true lives represent.  Honestly if we were all perfect in every area of our lives then we wouldn’t be these diverse beings with unique experiences of our own – and how boring would that be?  And although I know this to be true and am reminded of it in my bible study and by reading books like, “Girl, Wash Your Face” (if you haven’t jumped on that bandwagon I would HIGHLY recommend it) I still continue to weigh myself down with obligations to meet an unrealistic standard.  

So here I am on Sunday evening, heading into my work week and should be feeling rejuvenated and replenished for my tasks at hand but instead I feel depleted.  I’ve spent all weekend saying yes to everyone else – yes to the play dates, yes to the parties, yes to helping out that I neglected my own house and was left with a mess to tackle at 8:00 on Sunday night.  And yes, you may be thinking, “Say no to the housework then,” but by feeling like I’ve accomplished my household chores I am happier and feel less anxious going into my work week.  It feels like there is a literal clean slate.  So instead I did the two loads of laundry, the hubby unloaded the dishwasher, I washed and loaded the sink full of dishes, we took the dog for a walk, I packed my son’s bag for school in the morning, and (finally) called my sister back.  All to get on my phone and add to my to do list the things that I just couldn’t squeeze in.  This is depleting.  I am pouring from an empty cup. 

But I wanted to share this in hoping that by being honest and transparent we can all realize we feel like we’re falling short – short of the expectations we set ourselves that is.  This isn’t something only you struggle with or I struggle with but I’d say a major part of the population experiences routinely.  Did you know on average a human has 50,000 negative thoughts a day?  Now THAT is depleting.  What if we could change the conversation and reflect on how it is OK to not get it all done?  It is OK to say no to a social event.  It is OK to set boundaries on how you commit to helping.  It is OK to recognize yourself as more than an accomplished to do list.  What if we stopped and appreciated the peacefulness or the chaos of the moment we’re in?  

For me, nothing brings a level of peace like being in a plane overlooking God’s handy work.  It’s breathtaking to admire the beauty of a new place or of the scenery above the clouds that would otherwise be untouchable.  So this is what I’m adding to my to do list this week – transport yourself to that place in the sky and absorb the scenery around you.  Because the rest of the world is waiting when you touchdown and your agenda will still be there.  So if you catch me lost in thought or tuned out this week it’s because I’m going back to this moment of flying over Fiji.  I’m losing myself for just a moment to find balance in my chaos and saying no to the to do list, even if for just a moment.  

Xoxo

Gwen

I ran away so I could be a better mom.

Leave a comment

This isn’t a story of a midlife crisis or lifetime movie so please brace yourself for disappointment if that is what captured your attention.  This is a raw and honest take on mothering through toddler tantrums and what it takes to make it through the eye of the storm.  Because let me tell you when you hear the term “threenager” and the fact that it’s much worse than terrible twos that’s not just to make you feel better about being in the midst of twos.  It’s a full blown glaring warning of what is heading your direction like a freight train (honestly not trying to discourage any hopeful parents from joining me on this journey).  

This past weekend started off great.  My family is just over a month in from having a three year old but on Friday his behavior wasn’t reflective of that at all.  We got so much done together but also had a lot of fun.  There wasn’t the battle of the wills or the defiance that I’m coming to see as more and more routine.  Instead the day seemed to flow and was simply put peaceful and enjoyable.  I was relishing in life and having this day with my little man. 

Fast forward just another 24 hours and all hell breaks loose.  It started off pretty good, minor hiccups and behavior that wasn’t entirely pleasant but also fairly standard for a moody toddler.  The point being nothing we couldn’t manage.  Yet my husband and I made the near fatal mistake of pushing the limits of nap time so we could continue to be out and about running errands.  We were punished severely for that choice.  We were met with a meltdown of EPIC proportions.  My child was screaming, thrashing, hitting, kicking, throwing anything he could get his hands on.  If you came near he would lash out.  If you walked away his screams escalated.  When he gets to this point I’m honestly concerned the neighbors will think I beat my child.  And the thing is, he’s flailing so aggressively he is actually hurting himself.  So between the inconsolable crying and screeching he’ll throw in and “oww.”  

Some people may be thinking, “I’d just let him cry it out.  It won’t last longer than 10-15 minutes.”  Or “Just put him in his room until he’s done.”  There are two problems with this.  One, it does last longer than 10 minutes.  Much longer.  Approximately half an hour longer.  At some point in life I’m going to be so proud of the strong will my son has.  And I can see it serving him well.  But for now, I loathe it at tantrum time.  For two, that strong will does not leave him quietly reflecting in his room.  Instead he barges out of his door and finds whoever is closest to tantrum right next to us.  He wants to ensure we have a front row seat to the show.  On the occasion he does stay in his room, he’s wildly banging on the door like a gorilla pounding on his chest.  For now this doesn’t do anything but I’m fearful that at some point his little rage filled fist is going to yield some serious results and end up leaving a hole in the door. 

Although I feel like his tantrums are that of a super powered threenager what I’m hearing from my girlfriends is that it sounds like pretty standard toddler behavior.  This is both reassuring and terrifying.  But taking that into consideration and with my husband being home we powered through it together and got this little munchkin to bed for a much needed attitude reset.  Crisis addressed…or so we thought.  It isn’t even an hour later and he is awake.  We already know he’s carried his foul mood into the rest of the afternoon as his demeanor is picking right back up from where he left it pre-nap.  We continue to take shifts and try to power through but after what feels like the millionth time he hits me, and being all too aware that my husband will be leaving for the Timbers game in a couple hours I tell my son, “Mommy needs a break,” and give him a hug.    I then turn and grab my book, wallet and headphones and tell my husband I’ll be back and I walk out the door.  Part of me feels guilty since I knowing that my sweet boy is still asking for mommy and I’m leaving my husband in a volatile situation while the other half of me recognizes that if I don’t leave now I’m not going to have the patience to give my son what he needs the rest of the evening while daddy is away.  

I wasn’t even gone 45 minutes total but after having a hot chocolate and warmed up chocolate chip cookie (I wasn’t using food to address my feelings…) and getting lost in a romance novel I felt rejuvenated.  The angst I felt had melted away and I was eager to just hug my boy.  This isn’t going to be possible in every situation but having even the slightest escape – a piece of dark chocolate in the bath, a brisk walk on the treadmill at home, a peaceful 10 minute yoga session in a locked bedroom can shift perspective enough to break out of the tension of that parenting moment.  So I encourage you all to find some type of means to “run away” when you feel you need to.  It’s ok to need to step back and return as a healthier version of yourself.  As my earlier blog post addressed, “self care isn’t selfish.”  And regardless of whether you find that moment, know that you are the absolute best thing for your babies. No one else can love you like them, even in those tough moments. 

Xoxo

Gwen

These are my people – a fan girl admission.

Leave a comment

I was living in 1999 last night (but with much better style and self confidence) as some of my childhood gal pals and I transformed into our 12 year old selves and fan girled over the Back Street Boys.  If you don’t know who that is you were either born after 2010 or have been living under a rock.  BSB, N’Sync, 98 degrees – this made up the 90’s boy band trio of our dreams and now we were getting transported back in time to live in a period of body glitter, pleather and sticky overdone lip gloss yet again. 

As we walked up to the concert venue my girlfriend looked around at all the 30-40 year old women flocking in with us and said, “these are my people.”  We laughed at the time but in reflecting on that silly sentiment I was realizing these two girls that were with me truly are my people.  You see we’ve been friends since grade school, well over 20 years.  We watched one another transform from silly school girls, to preteens with first crushes, to teenagers experimenting with pushing boundaries, to college students exploring new freedoms, to graduates trying to find our footing, to married women finding balance in individual identities and new roles as wives and now transitioning into this newest chapter of motherhood.  It’s actually pretty amazing when you think about it; that throughout all of life’s changes we’ve been able to stay connected and not just connected but bonded.  We’ve seen one another struggle, cried with one another, celebrated each other’s victories and supported one another through the darkest moments.  

These girls are so deeply connected to me they are like sisters.  And although each chapter in life brings new challenges I feel I rely on them more now than ever while I’m a new mom.  They continue to reassure me I’m a good parent, remind me of who I am outside of that role and allow me a safe place to explore who I’m yet to become.  Because when you’ve been friends for as long as we have you can see how a person grows and continues to evolve.  That evolution is never ending. My identity isn’t tied to the chapter of life I’m currently residing in but offers a promise of something even more.  I am so incredibly grateful for these two women and their reminder of that promise.  

So here is to many more chapters in our friendship; to seeing each other through additional hills and valleys, to finding laughter in plenty of other shared experiences and to never being too old to be a boy band fan girl. 

Xoxo

Gwen

Confessions of a dirty mom.

Leave a comment

Here is my dirty little secret: I haven’t washed my hair in four days. Let me start this by clarifying I did shower over these past four days.  I’m not THAT dirty.  Being in the barre3 studio three days in a row kind of makes it unavoidable to shower. I honestly didn’t have any intention of going this long (although I do routinely skip washing my hair every other day) but with a jam packed schedule on Sunday by the time I got back from studio I realized I didn’t have time to wash, dry and style my hair before church.  Luckily I’ve found the most amazing dry shampoo that leaves my hair looking clean AND with plenty of volume.  Added bonus: it smells great and is totally affordable!  We’ve all read the memes about moms living on dry shampoo and I am now a testament to that.  So without further ado I thought I’d share some of my favorite beauty products that I use to both treat myself and are great time savers (win win!).

Not Your Mother’s Beauty Babe Dry Shampoo – $4.79

https://www.target.com/p/not-your-mother-s-beach-babe-texturizing-dry-shampoo-7oz/-/A-51325495

You’ve already read how this has got me through FOUR days!  What more is there to say? 

Impress Nails – $7.99 

https://www.target.com/p/broadway-nails-impress-press-on-manicure-night-fever/-/A-14247471

I’ve always enjoyed having my nails done and used to be a frequent to the salon for an acrylic set (I know really bad for your nails).  But I just can’t justify the cost.  It’s a luxury and not a necessity and to be frank I’d rather spend the money on something else indulgent – like copious amounts of Starbucks.  So when I saw our fabulous freshman representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez post about how these were a cheap fix when in between manis it piqued my interest.  And I LOVE it!  I get nearly 2 weeks of a manicure with no chipping and minimal nail damage for less than $10!  I’ve also found these at Fred Meyer for as low as $5.99.  And after turning my co-worker on to them she has taken advantage of Impress online BOGO promotions.  

Rodan and Fields Foaming Sunless Tanner – $27.00

https://www.rodanandfields.com/shop/essentials-foaming-sunless-tan/p/ESST125

First, I’m not a RF consultant and have no personal investment in this recommendation (I know were all inundated with MLM promotions and are skeptical because of it) but this product has really delivered for me.  It’s a little pricier than a lot of beauty products that I use but with how infrequently I use it and how well it applies I think it’s worth the expense.  It does have a SLIGHT tanner smell to be completely transparent but the color lasts longer and goes on a lot more even than any drug store options I’ve used.  It’s also way cheaper than going in for a spray tan and of course a much healthier option than laying in the tanning bed.  It helps me prep for a special event or beach vacation without adding a trip to the salon on my to do list. 

Valjean Labs Facial Serum – $25/2 count

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/ya?ac=bia&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_bia_item&reorder_params=B07KV6XWF5%2C112-1918907-0785007

I actually stumbled across this product after a co-worker told me about using oils on her skin.  She blends her own but that seemed to be a big risk to me as I already have combination skin and didn’t want to chance a breakout.  So I ended up just going to Marshall’s with some girlfriends and as I was perusing the serums another shopper RAVED about Valjean Labs.  That was enough for me and I took a chance.  I am so glad I did!  My skin has never been in better condition.  My breakouts are near gone, my skin tone is so much more even and I just got a compliment about my skin glowing – that was without makeup!  My skin has been in such great condition I no longer use any type of foundation or concealer.  This simplifies my minimal makeup routine and allows me to run out the door much faster.  

So there you have it!  Some of my go to products for getting out the door quick while still feeling fabulous.  It’s a form of self care in the most minimal of ways but it delivers a big punch.  What would you recommend to help a mama feel her best?

Xoxo

Gwen

It’s all about balance – indulging in the little things.

Leave a comment

I’ve been very aware of the changes my body is going through this second pregnancy and am making a lot more of an effort to stay active throughout this first trimester and as I transition into my second.  I wish I could say I’m motivated by some noble reason like ensuring the healthiest start for baby girl but that’s not it.  This is fueled by the fact that I am 4’11 and gained close to 50lbs my first pregnancy.  Prior to carrying my son I had always had a petite frame and have been fortunate enough to maintain my body weight by staying active while still eating just about whatever.  It was a real shock to my self-esteem and how I felt physically to carry that additional weight – there just really wasn’t enough room for it to spread out. It resulted in some real consequences – I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes that had to be controlled by insulin shots.  Thankfully my son wasn’t impacted by this and was delivered full term at a healthy weight.  However, I am preparing to go in for an early GD test in 4 weeks as a precaution this pregnancy.  Having GD once leaves you far more susceptible to being diagnosed in subsequent pregnancies and also increases your risk for type 2 diabetes later in life (yikes!).

Part of my routine physical activity are walks following dinner and a regular barre3 practice (see my prior post on self care and how b3 is incorporated into that).  Although I’ve been experiencing some significant insomnia this pregnancy I have still made it a priority to get to my studio for the first class of the day – which today meant 7:30am.  Since I’m more of a morning person and my toddler is generally up before 6:30 (often times closer to 5:30) the timing works out well.  It also allows me to get my workout in first thing and frees up the rest of my day. 

I was STARVING by the time I was headed home from class around 9:00am. I had every intention of making a healthy egg scramble loaded with veggies when I got home.  And then I glanced at my phone and saw this picture from my husband.  Of course my face immediately was filled with a smile.  For one, look at that cheesy grin!  I know I’m biased because he’s mine and I’m blinded by mommy goggles but how can you not smile when seeing this little guy making pancakes in his undies.  Second, breakfast is my FAVORITE meal.  I would eat it at any time either savory or sweet; I like it all.  Third, and sadly for me, my husband isn’t a big breakfast guy.  So I was pleasantly surprised to find him tackling breakfast with little man.  

So despite my intentions to eat a healthy breakfast I fully enjoyed chocolate chip pancakes with my family after my workout.  And you know what?  I don’t feel bad at all.  Yes my body is changing (specifically expanding) but I don’t believe in depriving myself for the sake of body image.  Being physically active keeps me feeling strong and confident and that allows me to be comfortable with indulging in childhood favorites like chocolate chip pancakes every once in a while. 

Xoxo

Gwen

Cozi, Routines and Deliveries – Managing the To Do List.

Leave a comment

I am a creature of habit to a fault.  I thrive on routines and knowing what to expect out of each day.  When a wrench is thrown into my plans and things deviate from my organized schedule I feel stress creep in and the tension take over.  I’m irritable, moody and not entirely pleasant.  But by recognizing this and accepting this as a trait of mine I am learning ways to embrace it and have found little ways to minimize my to do list with minimal effort.

I can’t remember what insta account I was following but I saw a post about the Cozi app and this thing helps me on the daily!  (Seriously though the app developer for this has got to be a mom.)  You can manage a shared calendar with your family that has color coding options to identify who is attending what event.  Goodbye overbooking!  There is also a spot for a shared to do list and a personal to do list that I reference way too frequently.  What that means for my household is that instead of having to feel like a nag asking the hubs to do things I can just add it to our shared list.  Because as the age old saying goes, “Happy wife, happy life,” and boy do I have a smile on my face when a chore is done without a request coming from my mouth.  I’ve also used the app for meal planning and referenced a few of their recipes and then immediately added grocery items to a shopping list.  How’s that for getting the most out of a product?  

As I mentioned, I thrive on routines.  Honestly, I self describe as a task oriented person.  I get a personal sense of satisfaction ticking off my to do list (no seriously, scratching it off of a written list brings me joy).  But the expectations I put on myself to maintain this level of perfection can be daunting and have the opposite effect of leaving me feeling lacking.  So I’ve learned to adjust since becoming working mom and there are just a few things I do daily that help me appreciate my house appearing in order while also not having a breakdown over the lack of perfection.  

One – I don’t leave the house without making our beds (mine and the kiddo’s).  When you walk in a bedroom the focal point is generally the bed.  So to me it makes sense to appear orderly by keeping the bed made.  It’s a simple chore that can be accomplished in less than 2 minutes that makes the world of difference. 

Two – I tidy up throughout my day.  Whether that’s in the morning before I’m heading out the door for work or at the end of the day when I get the babe to bed.  I read an article about how organized people will spend the 5 minutes they have cleaning rather than relaxing and I can relate.  Because if I’m already walking through a room why not grab the cups I see and get em in the sink?  Or pick up the shoes at the bottom of the stairs and put them in the shoe drawer?  Or grab the couple toys strewn out in the living room?  You get the idea.  The concept being that if I take these small windows of opportunities to tidy up it makes a big difference by the end of the day.  AND then I’m not overwhelmed by the degree of cleaning I have (or caught off guard by an unexpected guest).  This is not to say I have a spotless house by any means!  It appears tidy but is not what I would define as clean (no white glove test here). 

Three – I try to clean as I go when I’m making dinner.  I am completely reliant on meal planning for my family and generally lay out a weeks worth of meals at a time to ensure I’m not scrambling at the end of my day.  As the primary cook in my house this chore generally falls on me and I’m not naturally gifted at throwing ingredients together and whipping up a culinary masterpiece so meal planning is key.  But at the end of my work day to come home and cook and then turn around and clean it all up just feels way more exhausting than it should.  So to make things a little easier on myself (and get me to that glass of wine and Netflix binge that much faster after my little guy’s bedtime routine) I try to tidy up as I cook.  This does not mean I have a clean kitchen as I’m plating a hot dinner for my family.  It does mean that things are usually off the counters and dishes in the sink when we sit down at the table.  From there I can make the choice to tackle the dishes that night or in the morning (dishes is my LEAST favorite chore).

Speaking of dinner, I’ve also been known to subscribe to Hello Fresh periodically to make things even easier on myself.  I honestly don’t believe this would be the most cost effective option if my family were larger (the hubs, myself, our three year old and one on the way) as we’re often times reliant on leftovers to fill our bellies at lunch the next day.  But for now it can work on an inconsistent basis.  I’ve also been known to pick up a meal kit from my local grocery store and have that waiting in the fridge.  If I need a break from cooking hubby is way more apt to jump in if it’s all laid out for him so that’s a win win.  The other subscription box I enjoy is imperfect produce.  This is twofold because while I’m ensuring my fridge is stocked with a variety of fruits and vegetables I’m also helping minimize unnecessary food waste by using produce that isn’t otherwise marketable in grocery stores – and it’s delivered to me at a discounted rate!  It just recently came to our area so check it out to see if this is now an option for you too! (Note I realize subscribing to meal and/or food delivery is a luxury that not everyone can take advantage of.)

So there you have it.  My basic tips for easing some of life’s stressors when trying to juggle it all.  I hope you found this helpful.  And feel free to send any other suggestions my way as well because I can use all the help I can get.

Xoxo

Gwen